I know at this point it’s getting unbelievable how… terrible I am at times at this whole ‘being a farmer business’.
The only thing I’ve grown successfully are my tomatoes and a helluva lot of thyme.
A while back, maybe three months ago, my boyfriend decided that there’s no point having a giant empty chicken cage at his place. Seriously, this thing is huge. Anyway, Matt went and purchased four adorable tiny baby chicks. And we (mainly Matt) hand raised these little cuties. So they’re really good around people, they come and sit on our knees when we go in to feed them and they have zero fear around humans.
The original gangstas
Then, because we already own chickens, my mum asked if we wanted four more. Last year, my mum had two chickens (white and a red) that were very sweet and laid the biggest, most delicious eggs. However, they were terrorising the backyard, pecking and digging up the grass. Mum decided they had to go, so she gave them to a friend of hers. Then the friend got given two more from another friend until she decided that they were too much for her as well, so the circle came back around to me. GREAT.
Anyway, being the sucker I am, I said “Hey, yeah sure, more chickens. Just what we need.”
Thursday, four more lovely, ready-to-lay chickens were delivered by my mums partner, to Matt’s house. And we set them up, gave them food and water and straw and everything a little hen could want. Well, except a water proof shelter. They had shelter, sure… but it wasn’t waterproof.
BUT COME ON IT HADN’T RAINED IN BRISBANE FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS.
And then I went away to the coast Friday night. And it stormed. And it stormed and rained and stormed.
When we got back Saturday night, I took Matt straight down to meet out brand new chickens.
No chickens. Ours were in their cage (the one with proper WATERPROOF cover). But the four new ones. Gone.
It was pouring down rain, so we had a quick look in the sheds that had open doors, and underneath the balcony etc etc but still no chickens. The next morning (still raining) we got up super early and headed far into the back yard, shaking the food in the container hoping they’d come running. No chickens, but our next door neighbour called out “ARE YOU LOOKING FOR CHICKENS, COS I’VE FOUND SOME CHICKENS”.
Thank god. Over we went to collect them. We had three round up and back in their pen when I said “And the fourth…?”
Our neighbour: “Fourth? No, I only found three.”
Oh well, three is better than none. So we began living our seven chicken life and all was great. And then YESTERDAY we were having a BBQ on the patio when some random man shows up and says “I’m Dan… have you folks lost a chicken?”
Matt and I are back to being the proud parents of eight chickens and goddammit if they’re not all there tomorrow when I go to check on them.
On the plus side, delicious breakfast!